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Feel, felt, found - how to unstick a sticky situation

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Published on 12 January 2018
 
In my 5 Day Discovery Public Speaking courses, I invite my students to share any tricky communication issues experienced in their work. 
 
The idea is to throw the problem over to the group's wisdom where it's discussed and mostly resolved.
 
The group usually has an interesting discussion on the pros and cons of the situation and we leave it to the individual to decide their next steps. 
 
The responses are tools that must be used in the correct context.
 
One of the tough issues that some of my students face is selling - and I don't mean products or services.
 
My belief is that we are all salesmen and saleswomen and that comment is usually followed by, 'Well actually Vince, I'm a lawyer, doctor, accountant (or whatever their profession).'
 
But then I remark that when you're sitting around the table with your colleagues or clients or when you're talking about ideas, concepts, projects, or plans - you're selling. You're selling your insights into critical issues, and you want to be credible, so you need to speak with conviction. 
 
We are all salesmen and saleswomen.
 
Last time, one of my students said he had experience with this and offered to deliver a short presentation on the subject raised, and I'd like to share it with you
 
It's used when somebody is stuck while making a decision. 
 
It's called the feel, felt, found method, and is straightforward. Like all techniques, it must be used ethically to assist the stuck person.
 
First, listen to that person's problem and build trust and rapport with them. Then respond as below.
 
Hi Jim, I used to feel exactly the same way as you about x,y, and z. I felt that solution B would never manage x, y and z. But what I found was that it resolves x,y, and z brilliantly. Just look at the outcomes.
 
I have used this model a few times recently to get some great results for my students. Always be prepared to listen to the wisdom of the crowd, the stats are highly supportive of this.
 
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Vince Stevenson - Founder College of Public Speaking 2006 Ltd.

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