In our public speaking courses and training the trainer courses, we encourage students to become comfortable with silence. Silence says a lot if you allow it.
Many of us feel uncomfortable with silence.
Therefore, the common advice to speakers is to pause more while presenting.
An interesting voice is a voice of contrasts: fast, slow, loud, soft, high, low.
And probably the most telling contrast of all is between sound and silence.
The ability to pause, use silence effectively, and create space also allows the listener to process what was said.
In the training room, it is particularly important for trainers to understand the power of silence.
It can be annoying for a student to be asked a question and then feel crowded out because the trainer does not give enough time to reflect and respond.
Silence is a great tool precisely because it creates a degree of pressure and expectancy.
That is why at strategic moments during training, particularly when asking for a volunteer to go first in an exercise, I ask the question:
'Who wants to go first?'
I avoid all eye contact - because I do not want to put extra pressure on any particular individual and wait.
Inevitably trainers ask me:
'What if no one responds?'
Someone always will - eventually.
In my mind, I make an internal decision not to say another word until someone answers.
We could be sitting in silence all day.
In reality, there will be someone there who sees themselves as a leader and chooses to go first; or there may be someone who thinks - 'Let's get this over with.'
Or, failing that, there will always be someone who, after a few moments, thinks:
'This silence is intimidating.'
Someone is going to speak but not me.
If I choose a 'volunteer' myself, I may be seen as putting on pressure.
If the activity or presentation goes badly, it becomes my fault because I pressurized them into it.
However, if they volunteer and it goes wrong (which it won't, of course), it has become their responsibility because they opted to go first.
This is not meant cynically or manipulatively.
It simply helps students to become actively involved in their own development.
If they only participate to please me, they are still only taking part in my training.
If they participate because they chose to volunteer, they have now taken responsibility for their training.
Standing next to a cold swimming pool, would you rather be pushed in or jump in yourself?
Some people would want to be pushed, but most of us would rather choose to jump when we are ready.
Silence not only creates space and contrast within a presentation but can also be used to draw commitment.
Used properly, silence teaches people to choose; it teaches people to think for themselves.
Vince Stevenson - Founder College of Public Speaking 2006 Ltd.
If you have a great attitude and look forward to making a difference in your life, I hope you consider joining one of our training the trainer courses or public speaking course soon. It's always possible to improve your skillset and take your work and achievements to a higher level. Three strong reasons to support training
